Flipped

Someone wise said that if you want to understand someone try putting yourself in their shoes. It’s a very good way to gain insight into any person. But what I’ve come to realize is that it doesn’t always work. Though right in principle, its almost impossible to predict how you would’ve reacted in that particular situation or how you would’ve felt. Try as I might, I can at best sympathize, but not really empathize with anyone!!!

Ironically life seems to be taking care of that problem!!! Past few years, I’ve begun to realize that my life sometimes tends to resemble a coin….and I’ve actually experienced both sides of a situation at different points in time. Situations where I may have hurt someone have come right back to me….and I’ve found myself the recipient of similar treatment. Don’t get me wrong, though it may sound similar I’m not talking about Karma or anything…I don’t nearly have enough knowledge to talk about stuff like that!!! Lets see if I can make this simpler. Has it ever happened to you, that you behaved a certain way with someone and they pointed out to you how you are being unfair or biased or whatever, but to you your behavior was completely justified. Now fast forward a few months, and something similar has now happened to you!!! Suddenly you find yourself saying the same things that had earlier been said to you….the other person’s point suddenly becomes a lot clearer and easier to understand!!!

Well this sort of thing has been happening quite frequently with me of late or maybe I am just more aware of it now! Makes it damn difficult to fight and blame people sometimes…cause I know I might have done the same in their place!!! I guess its all about perspective….its made me realize, I shouldn’t be too quick to pass judgement on anyone. Makes me wonder if there is really any absolute right or wrong  or rather is there any use of any such definitions. In the end, I guess we all just do the best we can in any given situation…..and live with the consequences!!

PS: I understand that this is one of the most confusing posts I’ve ever written. Please forgive me. But it’s the best I could do. If I ever manage to make more sense of these things, I’ll surely share!!! There is a song that really suits this situation…..listen carefully to the lyrics and you’ll get part of what I’m trying to say! 

Gnarls Barkeley : Crazy

Just do the math

Love and marriage has always been a topic of great interest for me. Maybe its just a result of being a girl (there was actually an article describing how hormones can affect our emotional make up and ability to love, making boys and girls inherently different in this area….fascinating stuff!!!) but nonetheless, its one of the few things that has never lost its mystery no matter how long or hard I mull over it. 

Recently, these thoughts have come into greater focus with many of my friends and colleagues deciding to get hitched! Its one of those things that happen at a certain age….a whole lot of girls/boys getting engaged as soon as they begin their 25^th year and married as soon as they turn 26 or 27!!! I never believed it when people said that as you grow older, you automatically feel like getting married…it no longer feels like such a big deal and all that. But seriously, when everyone around you is jumping on that marriage bandwagon, its pretty difficult to not think about it….its almost like peer pressure!!!hehe. Be that as it may, the question of how to figure out who is the right person for you still looms large for me!! I’ve always thought of myself as an eternal romantic. I may not be very filmy in my beliefs, but for a very long time I believed that love overcomes all else, that if you really love someone all other practical considerations are relatively insignificant in comparison. I’ve never been a big fan of logic and practicality in any case. With an alive and kicking conscience, going by “if it feels right, it must be right” has served me pretty well till date.  But experience, my own as well as others, has made me realize things hardly ever pan out that way. Apparently love alone isn’t quite enough to guarantee a successful relationship.  It feels very unlike me to think along those lines, but even if I don’t, everyone else out there seems to be using some kind of check list to evaluate the feasibility of any relationship. I completely agree that one has to evaluate the long term future of any relationship before getting into it, it would seem like such a waste of emotion and effort otherwise!! But how logical one gets in this process is what bothers me. 

Maybe there is some kind of magic formula out there which will tell me which person is ideally suited for me. But the truth is, no matter how ideal a person or how perfect their characteristics, there is no way to predict whether or not you will actually fall for them!!  And if you don’t fall for them, the relationship will probably always seem to be missing something, possibly a passion that only comes with love!!! So apparently, neither one is enough….we need an ideal combination of practicality and emotion to see a relationship through for life!!! Now what are the odds of finding someone like that??!!!! Sometimes I wish there was some kind of program or formula that could just give me the right answer…life would become so much simpler!! But I guess….simple is just too boring for some of us, right?! ;)